Fancy Vegan White Chocolate!

Last year for the holidays, I made tree ornaments for friends / family. It was fun, inexpensive, and personal. They were also small enough that they were easy to ship all over the place. :)

This year, I wanted to make something again! I decided to get crazy and make vegan white chocolate. I found a recipe online and decided to just go with it!

The main ingredient in white chocolate is cocoa butter. How on earth do you find that stuff? Well, you can find it at some health stores, but I ordered mine online. If you go to amazon and search for it, you can probably find a good pound of it for 10 - 12 bucks.

So you'll need these things:

2.1 ounces of cocoa butter
1 tsp soy milk powder
1/4 cup + 1 tbsp powdered sugar
Pinch of salt
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

I got really fancy and used vanilla bean instead of vanilla extract! ;)

So anyways, here are the instructions:

1. To ensure your chocolate is as smooth as possible, run the soy milk powder through a rotary coffee grinder. Sift the soy milk powder, powdered sugar and salt into a medium mixing bowl and set aside.

2. Add the cocoa butter to a small saucepan and melt over medium heat. Alternatively, the cocoa butter can be melted in the microwave. Transfer the mixture to a double boiler and whisk until smooth. Whisk in the soy milk powder, powdered sugar and salt mixture followed by the vanilla extract. Continue whisking until smooth.

3. Temper the chocolate. Bring the mixture up to 120F (49C) while whisking frequently. Remove the bowl containing the mixture from the double boiler. Place the mixture in the refrigerator periodically and whisk occasionally to allow the mixture to reduce to 79F (26C). Now place the mixture back on the double boiler and bring it up to 87F (31C). If you overshoot and the temperature goes past 89F (32C), start the tempering process over.

4. Pour the mixture into your preferred chocolate mold. You can order chocolate bar molds online or get creative pour the chocolate ½ inch high in paper cups. Lift your mold up about an inch or so and drop it onto the counter top a couple times to release excess air bubbles. Allow the chocolate to solidify at room temperature overnight if possible to allow it to crystallize properly. If your kitchen is too hot for the fat to solidify then place it in the refrigerator after about 30 minutes. Remove the white chocolate from the mold and store it in an air tight container for up to 6 months in a cool, dark place. Makes 3.5 ounces.

So I did it!

I also think the addition of the vanilla bean added a nice flair....

RATINGS:

Deliciousness: 4/5 
It's tasty, for sure! It's really sweet, of course, because it's sugar and cocoa butter. But it's yummy. :)
Ease of Preparation: 2/5
Easier than other candy projects I've tried. But you realllllllllllly need a digital thermometer, a lot of patience, and a good sense of humor for this project. You will make messes, you will probably burn things. It's all part of the fun.
Prettiness: 5/5
Little gems of vanilla bean white chocolate! Cute.

Even Better Than? The Best Pumpkin Muffins

I took this recipe from The PPK and adapted it.

It's certainly hard to top THE BEST pumpkin muffin, but I'm ready for the challenge...

I have been trying my hardest not to use white sugar lately. I have a legitimate problem with sugar, and I'm hoping making homemade treats with organic / all natural white sugar alternatives will help wean me off the seductive white powder. ;) So I mixed up some of the proportions / substituted agave and brown rice syrup for the original recipe's sugar.

I've also been trying to put different flours into my baked goods to get some whole grains in there, and to add diversity to my diet.

Here's my recipe! Mwahahaha!

1 cup all-purpose unbleached flour
3/4 cup spelt flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbsp baking powder
1/2 cup brown rice syrup
3/4 cup agave nectar 
1 1/2 tbsp Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice (Best purchase I've made this holiday season...)
1 cup pureed pumpkin (My fresh pumpkin puree I made a few weeks ago! Yay!)
6 tbsp coconut milk (stuff from a can!)
2 tbsp Frangelico's hazelnut liqueur
2 tbsp molasses
1/2 cup unroasted / unsalted sunflower seeds

1. In a medium-sized bowl, mix the brown rice syrup and agave together. The brown rice syrup is VERY thick and pasty, so the agave mixed into it will liquefy it a bit.
2. Mix pumpkin, coconut milk, Frangelico's, and molasses into sweetener mixture. Set aside.
3. In a large bowl, mix flours, baking powder, salt, and spices. Pour pumpkin mixture into flour mixture. Mix well, then mix in the sunflower seeds.
4.Grease the insides of a muffin pan. This is very important! I wish I'd done these without the paper cups, because they stuck like a mofo to those things.

5. Bake in a 400 degree oven for 13-18 minutes.
6. Eat. Eat them all now.

RATINGS:

Deliciousness: 6/5 
I actually think I'm going to dare to say that these muffins are even better than the original recipe. They are more moist and spicy. I think the Trader Joe's spice is the BOMB, though, so that could be why. As for the moistness, I'm gonna bet that that sticky-sticky brown rice syrup is the reason for such delightfulness. Yum.

Ease of Preparation: 4/5
Easy baking recipe. :)

Prettiness: 4/5 
The sunflower seeds poking through the muffin tops add a nice touch, and the goldeny pumpkin color is always ever-so-festive. Fuck yeah.

Frangelicos Lollipops (Merry Holidays!)

I wanted to make some stuff that was vegan friendly and easy / relatively cheap to send out to friends for the holidays.

I found this amazing recipe from Leite's Culinaria for liquor lollipops.

I decided that if the sugar I use is vegan-friendly, and the liquor I use is as well, then my vegan buddies will be thoroughly gifted for the holidays.

Recipe!

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup plus 1 teaspoon hard liquor, such as bourbon, tequila, or rum
• 2 tablespoons cold water
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 3 tablespoons corn syrup
• 1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/4 teaspoon food coloring of your choice (optional)

When deciding on what liquor to use, I wanted to choose something holiday-y, but vegan friendly. So bailey's was out of the question. As was pumpkin creme liqueur.

But...according to barnivore.com, Frangelico's is definitely vegan friendly! Hooray! 

And hazelnut liqueur is kinda holiday-y, right? I hope so.

So now, you got your instructions:

1. Mix together 1/4 cup of the liquor, and the water, sugar, corn syrup, and salt in a 1- or 2-quart saucepan until all of the sugar is wet. If sugar crystals cling to the sides of the pan, dissolve them away with a wet pastry brush.

2. Bring the mixture to a boil over medium heat, stirring occasionally and gently with a heatproof spatula until all of the sugar is dissolved. Then boil to 300°F (149°C) without stirring.

I'd like to take a moment to interject and tell ya'll just how fucked up my lollipop making experience was.

A) My candy thermometer wouldn't go past 240. I got confused. Suddenly the syrup was BURNING. I threw that batch away.

B) Second round, I just fucking ignored my thermometer because that bitch is a liar. I did everything totally fine and stuff, but the lollipops weren't quite hard enough. I was so scared of burning them that they were just a litttttttttttle too soft.

C) I poured the remaining syrup I didn't use out into the sink. I tripped on myself (like the dumbass I am) and got it all over my hand. Much screaming, crying, and burning ensued. 

FUCK THIS LOLLIPOP-CREATING NONSENSE, IT IS EVIL AND DESTRUCTIVE.

And we continue....

3. Remove from the heat, and, working quickly, mix in the remaining 1 teaspoon liquor and food coloring, if using. Still working with haste, drop the syrup into either lollipop molds or onto a silicone mat.

Since I was using a silicone mat....

4. Quickly drop the syrup onto the silicone mat so that it forms 2-inch disks and immediately after plopping the syrup on the sheets place a lollipop stick in the center of each disk and twist it 180 degrees so that it’s fully covered in syrup. Let cool completely.

RATINGS:

Deliciousness: 4/5

Only 4 points because I didn't get them hard enough! Still lollipops, but they stick to your teeth if you suck on them for too long. Other than that, the Frangelico's gives it a lovely taste. :D

Ease of Preparation: 1/5

A nightmare from hell. Fuck this lollipop shit.

Prettiness: 4/5

They're little lollipops! 

Hipster Beer Bread

It's been awhile.

But the good news is that I keep cooking and baking stuff lately. And it keeps being fun.

So I'm gonna start blogging about it, since I can! :)

I have a recipe for beer bread that is adapted from a variety of other beer bread recipes. First of all, since not all beer is vegan, it's important to check barnivore.com to see if your bottle is animal-safe.

I had a ton of leftover PBR (which is fortunately vegan-friendly) so that's what I stuck with.

Plus, who doesn't want a slice of PBR hipster bread?!

Ingredients:

2 2/3 cup flour (white flour is my personal choice for a good soft beer bread flavor, but I've also had success with spelt and whole wheat)
2 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
12 fl oz of beer
3 tbsp brown rice syrup

1. Mix all dry ingredients together.
2. Pour bottle of beer into dry ingredients. Mix until just combined.
3. Mix in brown rice syrup. This is a thick sweetener, so mix well! You don't want a clump of sweetness in your otherwise unsweet bread.
4. Bake in a 375 degree oven for 45 minutes, until golden brown and cracked on top.

FUCK YEAH, HIPSTER BEER BREAD

RATINGS:

Deliciousness: 4/5
Tastes like good ol' beer bread! Always improved with a slab of vegan butter. It would probably be fun to experiment with different beers, too....lighter beers have always worked well for me with beer bread so I bet a kolsch would be nice.
Ease of Preparation: 5/5
Few ingredients, mix it all together. Bake it. Like an easy-bake-oven, man.
Prettiness: 4/5
Looks all rustic and lovely with the cracked golden top!

Fuck it, you should just eat MY food.

A'ight.

I'm done posting recipes other people made, now ya'll are gonna eat MY shit.

I make lots of random recipes throughout the week to take advantage of the hoards of dry food / frozen food I have.

Why do I buy so much of that dry and frozen shit?

Because it's CHEAP.

Can of beans + seeds + frozen corn + tomato sauce + spices + rice = cheap and delightful dinner.

Anyways, I'll start intermittently posting recipes I've made over the years.

EAT IT

First Abbie-themed recipe is.....

COCONUT CURRY QUINOA SALAD FILLED WITH GREAT SHIT

1 cup dry quinoa
2 cups water
1/2 tbsp olive oil
3 tbsp coconut milk (the thick stuff from a can, not the so delicious stuff)
1 tsp curry powder
1 tsp agave nectar
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp chopped garlic
1/3 cup raw walnuts
1/3 cup raw pumpkin seeds
1/4 cup raisins

1. Rinse quinoa. Put olive oil into a deep-ish pan and place over medium heat. Toast the soaked quinoa in the oil for about a minute. Throw in 2 cups of water and let that shit simmer. When it comes to a boil, turn the heat on low and put the lid on it. Let it simmer for about 15 - 20 minutes.

2. Mix the agave, curry powder, salt, and garlic. Stir in the coconut milk. Set aside and let it sit in the fridge so all the flavors soak into each other and create magic.

3. When the quinoa's done, let it cool. When it's cool, mix everything together. Pour your sauce on it and mix well.

EAT IT

BITCH

RATINGS

Deliciousness: 5/5
I made it. It's great.

Ease of Preparation: 4/5
Cook it, mix it, eat it.

Prettiness: 5/5
It's infused with my gorgeous qualities.

Kombucha-cha-cha

Kombucha - it's trendy, it's full of probiotics, it's kind of stinky. What's all the fuss about?

Well supposedly the recipe is 2000 years old and comes from China. And it's supposed to be considered a drink that makes you immortal. It's also raw, which is great, and full of probiotics that supposedly help your body maintain its natural good bacteria / bad bacteria balance.

Some people also think it tastes fucking awesome (including me!) Some people also hate it. It's kinda like stinky cheese, I think - some people love it and some people hate it for its pungency. 

Basically what you need to make this stuff is:

1. Brewed tea.
2. Sugar or sweetener of some kind.
3. SCOBY

A SCOBY is a symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast. This mushroom-looking thing is pretty gross to look at and kind of slimy, but it's what makes kombucha so magical! You can order a SCOBY online or get one from a friend or random other person.

I decided to try craigslist. I got mine from a girl selling hers for 10 bucks, and it was totally worth it. Not only did I get someone's own extra SCOBY and prevent having to buy one from some mass-producer, she also showed me her own home-brewing system and gave me a few tips.

My SCOBY! Floating around in a plastic bag!! :)

The reason why the SCOBY is circular is because it takes whatever shape it grows in. Therefore, since most beverage containers are circular, most SCOBYs will be circular. But hey, if you happen to find a beverage container that's heart shaped, I bet you would be the coolest kid on the block with heart-shaped SCOBYs.

So here's whatcha do:

1. Brew your tea.
2. Let your tea get to room temperature.
3. Put some sugar in your tea (1 cup of sugar per every 12 cups of tea).
4. Put your tea in a kombucha container of your choice.
5. Put your SCOBY in your tea.
6. Cover with a washcloth or cheesecloth or what-have-you, and let sit for days.

Mine fermented quite nicely after about 7 days of brewing. Yum!

Tips from my kombucha-lady:

1. Bottle your tea rightttt before it hits its sweet spot. If it tastes almost perfect, bottle it and store it at room temperature in a cabinet for a couple of days. This will give it just a little more time to ferment.
2. "Burp" your bottles occasionally, to prevent the carbonation from building up and your tea from exploding.
3. If you're going to be out of the house for a few days, have someone stop by to burp your bottles to prevent explosions, or just put your bottles in the fridge (cold prevents further fermentation).
4. If you'd like to put fruit juice in to enhance the flavor, mix it in when you bottle it. The fruit juice's sugar will create even more fermentation, so this will help your tea ferment even more.
5. Use filtered water, because chemicals in unfiltered water could mess up your SCOBY's delicate balance of goodness!

Black tea is best for brewing, but others can be used as well. I think my next batch will be green tea with a splash of pear juice.

FUCK YEAH KOMBUCHA

(I use old kombucha bottles because they work the best since they're glass and have plastic lids :D)

Cupcake Pies - Best of Both Pastry Worlds

Good morning!

Yes, it's 9am and I'm baking cupcake pies. Don't judge me.

I am in love with that adorable Vegan Yum Yum blog, so I decided to make one of her sweet treats on my day off.

Delicious and tasty cupcake pies!!!

Those tiny pies are insanely yummy-looking. I don't like the idea of ground cherries (simply because they remind me of gooseberries which I don't like at all) so I decided to make black and blue cupcake pies!

Blackberries and blueberries were on sale this week! YEAH!

Dough Ingredients:

1 1/4 Cup All Purpose Flour
1/2 tsp Salt
1 1/2 tsp Sugar
1/2 Cup Cubed, Chilled Earth Balance Margarine
2 Tbs – 1/4 Cup Ice Water

Berry Ingredients:

A bunch of your favorite berries (about 3/4 cup)

To make the dough, according to Lauren, follow this recipe:

1. Add flour, salt, sugar, and butter into a food processor.
2. Pulse until the mixture looks like wet sand, with pea-sized lumps here and there.
3. Slowly drizzle in water while running the machine until the dough forms a ball. If in doubt, add less water as opposed to more.
4. Turn out the dough onto the counter and press to form a disc. Cover in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1/2 hour.

I didn't have a food processor, or a pastry blender - I did things the 'rustic' (read: cheap bitch) way: two knives and a lot of slicing and turning the bowl around. Works just as well, but it takes a lot longer.

Now to the fun part!

1. Line a cupcake tin with cupcake papers. Spray lightly with oil. Place a scant tablespoon of dough into the bottom of each cup. Using a small glass dipped in water (one that has the same diameter of the bottom of the cupcake cup), press the dough to form a bottom crust.

2. Take small pieces of dough and build up the sides of the cup with dough, making sure the walls aren’t too thick.

3. Place the shells in the refrigerator for a few minutes to firm up.

4. Preheat the oven to 400º F. Remove the shells from the fridge and fill to the top, slightly overflowing, with ground cherries (or whatever fruit you’re using).
(Since I used blackberries and blueberries, I chopped my giant blackberries in half so they would be the same size as the blueberries!)

After this, you'll want to mix 1/4 cup of sugar with 1/2 tsp of flour. 

5. Add 1/2 to 1 tsp of the sugar/flour mixture to each cup, depending on how sweet you want your pies.

6. Cover the back of a cookie sheet with a sheet of plastic wrap. Add the rest of the pie dough, and cover with a second sheet. Using a rolling pin, roll out the dough to 1/4-1/8″ thick. Using a glass that has a slightly larger diameter than the openings of the cupcake cups, stamp out six pie crust tops. Place this in the freezer for a few minutes, or into the refrigerator for 10-15 minutes.

*Note: I did not do this. I definitely just hand-flattened some piles of dough and just slapped them on top of the berries to form the top crust. I'm going to call all my lazy / cheap moves 'rustic' from now on. So this was the 'rustic' way of doing the top crust. ;)

7. Once chilled, you should be able to easily peel out the tops and place them over your pies. Pinch the edges down, slash a X in the top with a sharp knife, and sprinkle with sugar. You can do other types of tops, such as lattice work, if desired.

8. Bake for 30 – 35 minutes, until golden brown. Let cool for several minutes before gently removing them from the cupcake tin to cook completely.

RATINGS:

Deliciousness: 4/5
Perfect, buttery crust! The berries were bursting with juice and the pies were just sweet enough but not too sweet. I just kind of wish I had added some spice, like ginger or lemon zest or something. Other than that, delightful!

Prettiness: 5/5
Little baby pies!!!! SO CUTE!

Ease of Preparation: 3/5
Lots of chopping, refrigerating, waiting for things to settle down, etc. Not too difficult to get right if you just put a little work into it, though. :)