Thursday, September 20, 2012

Fuck it, you should just eat MY food.

A'ight.

I'm done posting recipes other people made, now ya'll are gonna eat MY shit.

I make lots of random recipes throughout the week to take advantage of the hoards of dry food / frozen food I have.

Why do I buy so much of that dry and frozen shit?

Because it's CHEAP.

Can of beans + seeds + frozen corn + tomato sauce + spices + rice = cheap and delightful dinner.

Anyways, I'll start intermittently posting recipes I've made over the years.

EAT IT

First Abbie-themed recipe is.....

COCONUT CURRY QUINOA SALAD FILLED WITH GREAT SHIT

1 cup dry quinoa
2 cups water
1/2 tbsp olive oil
3 tbsp coconut milk (the thick stuff from a can, not the so delicious stuff)
1 tsp curry powder
1 tsp agave nectar
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp chopped garlic
1/3 cup raw walnuts
1/3 cup raw pumpkin seeds
1/4 cup raisins

1. Rinse quinoa. Put olive oil into a deep-ish pan and place over medium heat. Toast the soaked quinoa in the oil for about a minute. Throw in 2 cups of water and let that shit simmer. When it comes to a boil, turn the heat on low and put the lid on it. Let it simmer for about 15 - 20 minutes.

2. Mix the agave, curry powder, salt, and garlic. Stir in the coconut milk. Set aside and let it sit in the fridge so all the flavors soak into each other and create magic.

3. When the quinoa's done, let it cool. When it's cool, mix everything together. Pour your sauce on it and mix well.

EAT IT

BITCH



RATINGS

Deliciousness: 5/5
I made it. It's great.

Ease of Preparation: 4/5
Cook it, mix it, eat it.

Prettiness: 5/5
It's infused with my gorgeous qualities.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Kombucha-cha-cha

Kombucha - it's trendy, it's full of probiotics, it's kind of stinky. What's all the fuss about?

Well supposedly the recipe is 2000 years old and comes from China. And it's supposed to be considered a drink that makes you immortal. It's also raw, which is great, and full of probiotics that supposedly help your body maintain its natural good bacteria / bad bacteria balance.

Some people also think it tastes fucking awesome (including me!) Some people also hate it. It's kinda like stinky cheese, I think - some people love it and some people hate it for its pungency. 

Basically what you need to make this stuff is:

1. Brewed tea.
2. Sugar or sweetener of some kind.
3. SCOBY

A SCOBY is a symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast. This mushroom-looking thing is pretty gross to look at and kind of slimy, but it's what makes kombucha so magical! You can order a SCOBY online or get one from a friend or random other person.

I decided to try craigslist. I got mine from a girl selling hers for 10 bucks, and it was totally worth it. Not only did I get someone's own extra SCOBY and prevent having to buy one from some mass-producer, she also showed me her own home-brewing system and gave me a few tips.


My SCOBY! Floating around in a plastic bag!! :)

The reason why the SCOBY is circular is because it takes whatever shape it grows in. Therefore, since most beverage containers are circular, most SCOBYs will be circular. But hey, if you happen to find a beverage container that's heart shaped, I bet you would be the coolest kid on the block with heart-shaped SCOBYs.

So here's whatcha do:

1. Brew your tea.
2. Let your tea get to room temperature.
3. Put some sugar in your tea (1 cup of sugar per every 12 cups of tea).
4. Put your tea in a kombucha container of your choice.
5. Put your SCOBY in your tea.
6. Cover with a washcloth or cheesecloth or what-have-you, and let sit for days.

Mine fermented quite nicely after about 7 days of brewing. Yum!


Tips from my kombucha-lady:

1. Bottle your tea rightttt before it hits its sweet spot. If it tastes almost perfect, bottle it and store it at room temperature in a cabinet for a couple of days. This will give it just a little more time to ferment.
2. "Burp" your bottles occasionally, to prevent the carbonation from building up and your tea from exploding.
3. If you're going to be out of the house for a few days, have someone stop by to burp your bottles to prevent explosions, or just put your bottles in the fridge (cold prevents further fermentation).
4. If you'd like to put fruit juice in to enhance the flavor, mix it in when you bottle it. The fruit juice's sugar will create even more fermentation, so this will help your tea ferment even more.
5. Use filtered water, because chemicals in unfiltered water could mess up your SCOBY's delicate balance of goodness!

Black tea is best for brewing, but others can be used as well. I think my next batch will be green tea with a splash of pear juice.

FUCK YEAH KOMBUCHA





(I use old kombucha bottles because they work the best since they're glass and have plastic lids :D)

Monday, July 30, 2012

Cupcake Pies - Best of Both Pastry Worlds

Good morning!

Yes, it's 9am and I'm baking cupcake pies. Don't judge me.

I am in love with that adorable Vegan Yum Yum blog, so I decided to make one of her sweet treats on my day off.

Delicious and tasty cupcake pies!!!

Those tiny pies are insanely yummy-looking. I don't like the idea of ground cherries (simply because they remind me of gooseberries which I don't like at all) so I decided to make black and blue cupcake pies!

Blackberries and blueberries were on sale this week! YEAH!

Dough Ingredients:

1 1/4 Cup All Purpose Flour
1/2 tsp Salt
1 1/2 tsp Sugar
1/2 Cup Cubed, Chilled Earth Balance Margarine
2 Tbs – 1/4 Cup Ice Water

Berry Ingredients:

A bunch of your favorite berries (about 3/4 cup)

To make the dough, according to Lauren, follow this recipe:

1. Add flour, salt, sugar, and butter into a food processor.
2. Pulse until the mixture looks like wet sand, with pea-sized lumps here and there.
3. Slowly drizzle in water while running the machine until the dough forms a ball. If in doubt, add less water as opposed to more.
4. Turn out the dough onto the counter and press to form a disc. Cover in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1/2 hour.

I didn't have a food processor, or a pastry blender - I did things the 'rustic' (read: cheap bitch) way: two knives and a lot of slicing and turning the bowl around. Works just as well, but it takes a lot longer.

Now to the fun part!

1. Line a cupcake tin with cupcake papers. Spray lightly with oil. Place a scant tablespoon of dough into the bottom of each cup. Using a small glass dipped in water (one that has the same diameter of the bottom of the cupcake cup), press the dough to form a bottom crust.

2. Take small pieces of dough and build up the sides of the cup with dough, making sure the walls aren’t too thick.



3. Place the shells in the refrigerator for a few minutes to firm up.

4. Preheat the oven to 400º F. Remove the shells from the fridge and fill to the top, slightly overflowing, with ground cherries (or whatever fruit you’re using).
(Since I used blackberries and blueberries, I chopped my giant blackberries in half so they would be the same size as the blueberries!)


After this, you'll want to mix 1/4 cup of sugar with 1/2 tsp of flour. 

5. Add 1/2 to 1 tsp of the sugar/flour mixture to each cup, depending on how sweet you want your pies.

6. Cover the back of a cookie sheet with a sheet of plastic wrap. Add the rest of the pie dough, and cover with a second sheet. Using a rolling pin, roll out the dough to 1/4-1/8″ thick. Using a glass that has a slightly larger diameter than the openings of the cupcake cups, stamp out six pie crust tops. Place this in the freezer for a few minutes, or into the refrigerator for 10-15 minutes.

*Note: I did not do this. I definitely just hand-flattened some piles of dough and just slapped them on top of the berries to form the top crust. I'm going to call all my lazy / cheap moves 'rustic' from now on. So this was the 'rustic' way of doing the top crust. ;)

7. Once chilled, you should be able to easily peel out the tops and place them over your pies. Pinch the edges down, slash a X in the top with a sharp knife, and sprinkle with sugar. You can do other types of tops, such as lattice work, if desired.



8. Bake for 30 – 35 minutes, until golden brown. Let cool for several minutes before gently removing them from the cupcake tin to cook completely.



RATINGS:

Deliciousness: 4/5
Perfect, buttery crust! The berries were bursting with juice and the pies were just sweet enough but not too sweet. I just kind of wish I had added some spice, like ginger or lemon zest or something. Other than that, delightful!

Prettiness: 5/5
Little baby pies!!!! SO CUTE!

Ease of Preparation: 3/5
Lots of chopping, refrigerating, waiting for things to settle down, etc. Not too difficult to get right if you just put a little work into it, though. :)


Friday, June 22, 2012

Bagels.

I have a confession.

I am a bagel ADDICT.

I've been visiting my friend Emily (this is her nifty little shop) and Boston is very Jewish and very bagel-y. I am in love.

I ate four bagels one morning while visiting my friend Emily here in Boston. FOUR IN ONE DAY. What's wrong with me?!

I just freaking love that almost crispy outside with the gooey inside. Smothered in hummus and arugula, bagels create the perfect meal for me. I fucking love the shit out of them.

And there's this place in Seattle called Eltana - omfg they have the best bagels. They're WOODFIRED. What?!

They're not vegan because they're all made with honey, though.

So my goal: make a delicious, vegan-friendly bagel.

Leite's Culinaria always has the best recipes.

And I want to copy the recipe she has for these bagels.

But instead of barley malt syrup or rice syrup, I want to try one batch with maple syrup and one with molasses.

Why?

Both of these sweeteners are thick, vegan-friendly sweeteners that are all natural.

Plus, who the hell says no to a molasses bagel or a maple bagel? Certainly not me.

I want pretty little bagels that look like this:


And I want them to have sesame seeds on them and hummus and arugula and joy.

I will sprinkle these assholes in joy.

It's happening.

Sometime next week.

GET READY.

Ok now I'm off to go do cool things in Boston KTHXBAI

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

VEGAN SHARK COOKIES AWWW SHEWT.

So, A) I bought these shark cookie cutters.

Because I have a mild obsession with sharks and have for the past like, five years. I have a shark shower curtain, a shark soap dispenser, a shark poster on my door, a shark bottle opener, a shark screensaver...the list goes on. I like sharks.

and B) I found this absurd video on youtube:



And here we have some shark cookies.

Ingredients:

2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup Earth Balance
1 1/2 tsp Ener-G + 2 tbsp warm water
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp vanilla



1. Mix Earth Balance and sugar.


2. Add in egg replacer.


3. Add in flour.


4. Look at your dog eat a football. Like, legitimately eat one side of it.


5. Add in baking powder and salt.


6. Add in vanilla (while looking at your ridiculous dog hiding under the table).


7. Lightly flour your rolling surface.


8. Roll out your dough. And simultaneously, don't judge me for using a wine bottle. I am cheap and these came free with my wine.


9. Yes, this just happened:


AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH BITCHES WE'RE GONNA HAVE SHARK COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

And if you want to make vegan icing btw, you can mix coconut milk and powdered sugar and maybe some food coloring until you get the desired consistency.


Also, use sprinkles. Because obviously you need to.


Disclaimer: I DO know that not all sugar is vegan but I don't give a shit because I think that's kind of crossing the line of vegan insanity.

SO HERE WE HAVE THE MASTERPIECES

(Oh and also I wanted to make rainbow shooting stars FUCK YEAH)

*Sigh.* This is my life. I don't know whether to be extremely proud of it or embarrassed, so the only logical thing I can think to do is post it all over the internet so everyone gets fucking

JEALOUS.


This is Sheldon the Shark. Look at him! HE'S GREAT


RATINGS:

Deliciousness: 2.5/5
Not insanely tasty, not bad. Tastes like a hard sugar cookie with frosting on it. It's edible and mildly tasty.

Prettiness: 28thousand//5
LOOK AT THAT SHIT IT'S A SHARK COOKIE WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

Ease of Preparation: 3/5
Kind of a mess. Hey, it's sugar cookies! You roll those things OUT ON A FLOURED SURFACE. Shit's gonna get messaaayyyy.

Having A Dog In Seattle

So, having a dog is changing the way I view a lot of things. I have to be responsible for another living thing, which is terrifying but also exciting. Is this how new parents feel??!


Fist of all, I now have a list of things I need to set Jackson up for:
1. Get him neutered.
2. Get him registered with the city of Seattle.
3. Update his microchip.
4. Get him a vet.

I also have to figure out what kinds of cool things I can do with him! I have been spending the last five years of adult living with just little ol' me, so it's going to be weird to adjust some of the things I do to include a dog. For instance, I take a lot of fucking walks. Like, a LOT. Seattle's a very walkable city, and I like to play outside in pretty parks and whatnot. So it works that I have him because he'll be a well-walked dog! And black labs need lots of walking, for sure.

But I now have to figure out where all the off-leash dog parks are around here! That way Jackson can play freely. I found this list online:

Off Leash Dog Parks! Woo!

And now I have to go exploring....I have been to the I-5 colonnade park, so I know where that one is (and it's kind of close!), but I want to explore the others!

Plus, once I get him to be better on a leash, I can potentially take him on jogs with me.

JOGGING JACKSON WILL BE THE CUTEST.

I will also now be one of those people who sits outside of coffeeshops so Jackson can hang out with me while I study. :-]

This is weird. But cool.

Responsibilities, man! It's the BEST!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Vegan Doggies?

So, I'm adopting a dog.



His name is Jackson and he's a black lab. He's about a year and a half old and I've known him since he was a teensy puppy. I'm adopting him from a friend.

My question to all my readers is this:

Can a dog be vegan? 

FURTHER.

Should a dog be vegan?

I have done a little research on this subject. It looks like cats are definitely omnivorous, but for dogs...it's not so certain.

Yes, based on articles like this: http://thebark.com/content/vegan-dogs , it looks like dogs can survive as vegans. And this dog-owner says her puppy is in tip-top health.

I'm not going to feed Jackson a vegan diet because this diet works for him and he's totally healthy from what I can see.

But I'm curious to see what ya'll bitches have to say about this.

Comments?

GO.


<3