Scone Glory!

This recipe is from none other than…

Vegan With a Vengeance by the beloved Isa Chandra Moskowitz. 

I chose to make:

SCONES pg 42

So, I work at Starbucks. And oftentimes, I can eat a free pastry here or there because it is expired. Unfortunately, the blueberry scones are basically my favorite things on the planet and they’re definitely not vegan. So I decided to make some scones of my own to bring into work. TAKE THAT, NON-VEGAN BLUEBERRY ASSHOLE SCONES!

Isa’s scones seemed easy enough to make, and I had most of the ingredients already.

So first, I made the ‘vegan buttermilk.’ Basically you mix ¾ cup of the milk of your choice (I chose soy milk because it was on sale at Uwajimaya this week! Eeee!) and 2 tsp apple cider vinegar.

It was really weird, because when you mix in the vinegar, the milk seems to like….get chunky and thick. I guess that’s good? It all worked out in the end, so I HOPE it’s good. Either way, I threw it in the fridge to use later in the recipe.

Then, you mix up 3 cups of flour, 2 tbsp baking powder, ¼ cup sugar, and ¼ tsp salt in a big ol’ bowl.

So after you get your hands all flour-y, Isa tells you to mix in 1/3 cup of vegetable oil (I used canola because it’s all I had and I’m a broke ho)…

And then ½ cup of soy cream…

And then the vegan buttermilk chunky crap!

At this point, you’re allowed to throw this glorious dough into piles on a baking sheet and bake the scone-babies in a  preheated 400 degree oven. But my love affair is with BLUEBERRY scones. So alas, I need some freaking blueberries in my scones.

Unfortunately, being a broke ho means making compromises here and there. So. The packet of blueberries I wanted was $5.39!!!!! WHAT?! But sitting next to it was a packet of blackberries for $3.29…. Guess which berry packet came home with me that night?

That’s right. The blackberries seduced me with their plump, fragrant beads of juice and their smaller price tag. What can I say? I’m a sucker for cheapness and juiciness.

So, since blackberries are FUCKING HUGE, I chopped them up into smaller pieces.

It looked like blood splatters all over the walls behind the chopping board (oh, blackberries, how juicy you are!)

MURDER OF THE BLACKBERRIES.

So after getting blackberry blood all over myself, I threw the dead blackberries into the dough.  YUMTASTIC.

Then I put spoonfuls of dough on parchment paper on a baking sheet and I flattened the tops out a bit. I sprinkled sugar on the tops of the scone-dough-piles.

Then I baked them for 12 minutes!

THEN I TOOK A STAGED PHOTO OF A BREAKFAST I MIGHT ENJOY INCLUDING MY BLACKBERRY SCONE DELIGHTFULNESS.

JEALOUS?! YOU SHOULD BE. THAT BANANA IS ORGANIC, AND THAT TEA IS PASSION-GREEN TEA MADE WITH STEVIA. I AM ONE PRETENTIOUS NATURAL-FOODS BITCH.

The scone looked so cute sitting on my plate that I decided to take a close-up picture of it.

ISN’T HE CUTE?!

CAN’T. DEAL.

RATINGS:

Ease of preparation: 4/5

Super easy to prepare, one of the most simple baking recipes ever. I did get creeped out by the buttermilk thing, and the dough was a sticky mess, so I knocked it down a star.

Deliciousness: 5/5

IT’S A SCONE THAT TASTES LIKE IT LEGIT CAME FROM A VEGAN BAKERY. YUM.

Prettiness: 4/5

Blobs of dough, yes. But blobs of dough TIE-DYED with blue and pink because that’s what juicy blackberries do to your scones.