Seaweed In The Sky With Diamonds

Vegan With A Vengeance is cool.

So I decided to make...

Hajiki-Chickpea Salad Sammiches Pg 106

I FREAKING MISS TUNA FISH SANDWICHES. I WANT SOME TUNA FISH SANDWICH DELICIOUSNESS RIGHT NOW. LUCKILY, I STILL HAVE A FUCKTON IN THE FRIDGE AS LEFTOVERS FROM MY RECIPE CONCOCTION.

So how in the hell do you make tuna fish sandwiches vegan? Well. For the tuna-y texture, you're going to use....

MASHED UP CHICKPEAS!

And then for the fishy flavor, you're going to use...

HAJIKI SEAWEED!

I would consider myself a seaweed freak. I even have giant chunks of seaweed in my vegan shampoo bar (it's called Seanik, I got it from Lush, GO GET SOME NOW).

So when I opened this baggie and was like WHAT THE FUCK!? You know this seaweed is some weird shit.

I guess I'm used to sheets of shiny seaweed that have a mild flavor and a slight crunch. These weird little things looked like dried up, burnt worms. They were super hard. They smelled like a fish's ASS.

I was displeased.

So being who I am, (aka: a person who eats grass on occasion because I'm a fucking weirdo), I decided to just go ahead and try it. Even though it made me want to barf all over myself.

So here's what you do with this shit: You pour a little hot boiling water over it. Then you cover it and let it sit for 15 minutes. To fucking rehydrate the dead worms after their dehydrating session inside a fish's ass.

So while you wait for fish-ass-worms to do their thing, you mash up the chickpeas and throw in some diced onions and a little vegenaise and some apple cider vinegar and salt/ pepper.

I was actually pretty well pleased with this by itself. I tried it, becasue even though I'm a weirdo and I sometimes eat stupid shit, I was kind of scared of the fish-ass-worms. So I was hoping it would be delicious enough that I could skip that step.

Delicious, but alas, I wanted that fishy taste. So I threw the now-rehydrated shit in there.

SURPRISINGLY, THE FISH-ASS-WORMS WERE LEGIT. They made my tuna fish sandwich taste (almost) like a legit tuna fish sandwich.

YUM.

Healthier for me AND the environment than a regular ol' tuna fish sandwich.

MAKE THIS SHIT, FOOLS.

WHY?

BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO.

THEN MAIL ME SOME BECAUSE I'M A FAT BITCH AND I CAN'T GET ENOUGH. <3

LOVE,

SEAWEED FREAK

RATINGS:

Ease of Preparation: 5/5
Literally just mashed a bunch of shit together. No cooking involved. Awesome!

Deliciousness: 4/5
Tastes delicious! But alas, if you're looking for something that can replace your old tuna fish sandwich, you will likely be disappointed. It's delicious in its own right, and it's definitely COMPARABLE to a tuna fish sandwich, but it's not the same.

Prettiness: 3/5
Ummm.....it's a sandwich. <3