Pho-k You! (Not really, I Love You!)

Having lived in Florida from 2006 - 2010, I was used to seeing signs for Cuban sandwiches, authentic Mexican cuisine, and other hispanic goodies. When I moved to Seattle, I was suddenly overwhelmed with restaurants screaming

PHO! GET YOUR SAIGON PHO! AUTHENTIC PHO! VEGETARIAN-FRIENDLY PHO!

So here I am, my tan just starting to fade and my flip flops gathering dust by the doorstep, when I realize that A) It's getting cold as hell here in Seattle, and B) I do not have any good burrito places to keep my Florida ass warm.

So I decide to try this pho stuff.

For all you people who are not from the West Coast and/or don't know Vietnamese food overly well, pho is pronounced like 'FUH' and it's delicious and eerily addictive. It's basically just an Asian noodle soup with an asston of sprouts on top and a strong bite of cilantro. I easily spent about 20 bucks a week on this shit when I first discovered it. That was one very bad month financially, I'll tell you.

So while I was flipping through Vegan On The Cheap, I saw this recipe called Asian Noodle Soup. I was like 'wuhhhhhh' and then I was like 'WOAH DUDE' and then I was like 'NOM NOM NOM.'

The description said it was based on pho. So I flipped out and fuckin' bought the ingredients for this shit immediately.

Asian Noodle Soup Pg 70

So here's how this goes down.

The recipe asks you to cook some linguine or rice noodles, then drain them when you are done and save them for later. In my world, when you make soup, you just cook the noodles in the broth. So I skipped this step and made the broth.

The recipe calls for vegetable broth. I have this cool vegan chicken broth stuff that I use for all my soups because it's just delicious (and tastes like legitimate chicken broth so it's easy to fool nonvegans). So I made some broth.

How pretty!

Also, I'd like to point out that this recipe asked me to make seitan instead of tofu. I think that since tofu is cheap, and I like it, I didn't see any problem with this substitution.

So the next part tells me to cook up some onions, fresh ginger, and fresh garlic. So I chopped some up and threw it in a pan.

The recipe also calls for a 'neutral vegetable oil' but since this is an Asian recipe, and I have a large amount of sesame oil, I cooked the onions/ginger/garlic in sesame oil instead. Robin Robertson can kiss my ass if she finds this unacceptable.

Then you're supposed to mix the hoisin sauce and soy sauce in with the cooked veggies, then add that shit to the broth. So I did.

After that, you will want to put whatever form of protein you chose into the broth along with the cooked veggie mixture. DO IT.

So I cut up the tofu.

Exciting, no?

Then I threw all that shit into my delightful pot of broth, along with my uncooked rice noodles! I also was ordered by the recipe book to put some rice vinegar and asian chili sauce into the mix, so I FREAKING DID. YOU SHOULD, TOO.

The most exciting part is coming up!

PREPARE THE FANCY GARNISH!

Cut up the green onions!

On top of your soup will also be fresh sprouts and fresh cilantro.

I love to smell cilantro. I wish I could tape some fresh cilantro to my face all day long so all I was breathing was cilantro fumes.

On a side note, aren't ginger roots cool? Don't they look like tree trunks?

And what if....what IF....

WE PUT CILANTRO ON TOP OF IT TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A TREE?!

Ok. Sorry.

And now we're back.

NOW WHEN YOUR RICE NOODLES OR WHATEVER THE FUCK NOODLES YOU CHOSE ARE DONE COOKING, PLEASE PUT SOME SOUP INTO A BOWL THEN TOP IT WITH CILANTRO/SPROUTS/ONIONS AND EAT IT

DELIGHTFUL?!

I THINK SO, BITCHES.

RATINGS:

Ease of preparation: 4/5
Lots of chopping and stuff, but it all ends up in the same damn pot so it's not terribly noticeable if you fuck one thing up.

Deliciousness: 5/5
IT TASTES LIKE PHO-CKING PHO, BITCHES. WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED.

Prettiness: 5/5
PHO IS THE MOST AESTHETICALLY PLEASING THING EVER (NO I'M NOT BIASED, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!)