Because I have a mild obsession with sharks and have for the past like, five years. I have a shark shower curtain, a shark soap dispenser, a shark poster on my door, a shark bottle opener, a shark screensaver...the list goes on. I like sharks.
and B) I found this absurd video on youtube:
And here we have some shark cookies.
2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup Earth Balance
1 1/2 tsp Ener-G + 2 tbsp warm water
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp vanilla
1. Mix Earth Balance and sugar.
2. Add in egg replacer.
3. Add in flour.
4. Look at your dog eat a football. Like, legitimately eat one side of it.
5. Add in baking powder and salt.
6. Add in vanilla (while looking at your ridiculous dog hiding under the table).
7. Lightly flour your rolling surface.
8. Roll out your dough. And simultaneously, don't judge me for using a wine bottle. I am cheap and these came free with my wine.
9. Yes, this just happened:
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH BITCHES WE'RE GONNA HAVE SHARK COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
And if you want to make vegan icing btw, you can mix coconut milk and powdered sugar and maybe some food coloring until you get the desired consistency.
Also, use sprinkles. Because obviously you need to.
Disclaimer: I DO know that not all sugar is vegan but I don't give a shit because I think that's kind of crossing the line of vegan insanity.
SO HERE WE HAVE THE MASTERPIECES
(Oh and also I wanted to make rainbow shooting stars FUCK YEAH)
*Sigh.* This is my life. I don't know whether to be extremely proud of it or embarrassed, so the only logical thing I can think to do is post it all over the internet so everyone gets fucking
This is Sheldon the Shark. Look at him! HE'S GREAT
Not insanely tasty, not bad. Tastes like a hard sugar cookie with frosting on it. It's edible and mildly tasty.
LOOK AT THAT SHIT IT'S A SHARK COOKIE WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
Ease of Preparation: 3/5
Kind of a mess. Hey, it's sugar cookies! You roll those things OUT ON A FLOURED SURFACE. Shit's gonna get messaaayyyy.